Visit ReferenceUSA from http://www.kpl.gov. Agree to terms and conditions. Enter library card number. Click on U.S. Businesses category. Search ‘Kalamazoo Beer Exchange’. Click on link. Search for management. Just decide to call business.
The phone rings 10 times. I ask if Jim’s there. “This is Jim.” (I say: Hi Jim. I’m looking for a business mentor. I was wondering if I could buy you a coffee and ask you a couple’s questions. See if there are any pitfalls I should avoid when starting a company. My name’s Aaron Bell, and, as I recall, you’re the owner of the Kalamazoo Beer Exchange.)
He says, “Yeah. Well, sure. Who is this? What’s your story? You go to school around here?” I notice, based on his slower, southern accent, that I was speaking way too fast. (My answer… I went to Mattawan… have been dabbling in and out of business… now ready to go full hilt.) “You looking to start a restaurant?” (Well–sort of.)
“Well sure. But first, I’d like to see who you are. We’re closed today [due to maintenance]. Why don’t you come down to the Beer Exchange tomorrow. I’ll be here between six and closing.” (Alright, I’ll be there before 7.: Say goodbye. Hang up.
After this call, I feel lighter. I sense more ‘confidence juice’ tunneling through and relaxing my muscles. My muscles distinctibly flex and contract more easily. My muscles move with 80% less perceivable delay.
My face feels warmer, lower lip fatter, My thoughts are more ‘warm’. My abdominal is 29% more relaxed. I would say conclusively that not calling is the main trigger of fear about calling.
I’ll call one business owner a day–with a distinct request for mentorship. Avoid looking stupid through proper preparation.
Next Testable Observation:
Feel swirling ‘eh’ in torso, head, back of shoulders, and sides of neck. See phone in mind. See hustle and bustle of people smiling in the background, eating at a resterant. A dirty blonde woman wearing an apron picks up the phone with a ‘cut the shit’ expression.
Does this sensation stem from lack of calling people?
1. Do “Day 4” of ‘Rules of the Game’ — Call people until I connect with 3 people or receive a movie recommendation.
2. Record results and ‘seeds of equivalent advantage’ anytime I perceive a ‘failure’
Results Observation (because I did this straight away):
‘Hello?’ (Say explicitly that I’m calling random people. Request the movie suggestion.) ‘Uuuuh. Sorry. I can’t help you there. I don’t really watch movies.’ (Thanks for your help.) ‘Bye!’
‘Haaaaaaaaaahahaha! Haha, NAWW, MAN. Sorry! I haven’t been to the movies in a loooong time… Haha! Yo man. Good luck with your movie.’
‘This is Ken… Oh… You’re asking the wrong guy… Yup. Bye now’
Patterns and changes in belief include:
‘It’s NOT OK to call people’ –> ‘It’s OK to call people’
‘People are scary and mean’ –> ‘People are DEFINITELY, BEYOND A DOUBT generally good’
‘People are completely satisfied without me’ –> ‘People crave connection’
‘Authenticity is a great way to spark connection’ (e.g. explicitly saying I’m calling random people)… ‘because authenticity also lowers people’s guard to you.’
‘Drama is bad’ –> ‘People are looking for drama–give it to them.’ (I kept imagining a baby crying in the background with guy saying, ‘YOU AIN’T SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER’ to the woman picking up the phone; to be fair, that’s outside my control–I’m not the one sparking the pain)
‘I’ll go to jail if I fuck up’ (this has happened to me before) –> ‘People’ aren’t going to do shit–I can fuck up as much as I want to’
Focus from ‘People don’t like me taking risks’ –> Focus on ‘I’m doing what people secretly wish they did’.
All these generalizations… from 20 minutes of anxiety… is a GREAT PAYOFF.