In my 19 years of being alive, I’ve been alienated from friends, terminated from employment, and slept in my car for a cumulative total of 4 months.
But nothing beats calling me a liar.
As angry as this made me, though, this did sort of serve as a litmus test for how effective meditation is.
Roll the clip.
My Client’s Message:
I have tried to read your work for the 5rh time now and I could not make pass the 2nd paragraph. I was going to try to help you by doing some editing but I just don’t have the time for it. Nothing you claim on here is correct. I don’t do business with lies. Some people can make lots of money doing that but I’m quite old fashioned. I rather make less money so I could have a peaceful sleep at night and not have to watch my back when I walk outside.
The reason why I couldn’t make it pass the 2nd paragraph was because it is actually very painful to read through. Thank you for your attempt but I am going to pass on your service. I suggest you study more about copywriting by reading all of Dan Kennedy’s books as well as go to his bootcamp. Here’s the link: http://www.dankennedy.com/bootcamp. The fast-implementation bootcamp is free . . . you just have to travel there. You will learn a lot of information there.
Also, it seems like you didn’t grasp the concept. I didn’t create any system that creates money out of thin air. If I did that, I wouldn’t need a copywriter to help me sell my service.
I really did plan to let you try working on this project and perhaps help you through. However, based on your writing style and my time limitation, I will not be able to do that. At this time, I will cancel the job and request the refund of my $50. I give you all the copyright to your work because I will not be using it.
Please note that I know you tried very hard to write this and I really appreciate your hard work. Perhaps after a year or two and with more skill development, we will work with each other.
Thank you for your time and I am sorry that I must end this project for you.
After Meditation (Whoa):
Sorry you’re not enjoying the letter I’ve sent you.
I’ve only used what was supplied in the fact sheet you provided. So, if that’s not accurate, I don’t know what is
(Quote from your message: “Nothing you claim on here is correct. I don’t do business with lies.”)
To be specific, here’s the exact sheet I used:http://pdfs.streamenergy.net/pdfs/Ignite_Credib…
Sorry to upset you, though. I really am.
Especially because this sales letter was modeled off of a *very* successful letter, and all the math was done based on the videos on the home page @ http://www.igniteinc.com
In fact, if you want to see the facts and research I had collected, you can check out:
…To see just 50% of the notes I’ve taken.
Anything that’s NOT true or still in question has been highlighted.
Let me know when you’d like to start again — I’m not up for arguing. If you don’t want a successful, honest advertisement, then don’t use my work.
To show that I’m in it for YOUR success, I’ve refunded your money promptly — However, I feel that this money was unjustly refunded.
If you would like a different format, please let me know.
P.S. This isn’t as good as Dan Kennedy, I know. But I had actually reread two books in their entirety (Scientific Advertising and Tested Advertising Methods) before writing this sales letter.
P.P.S. I had positioned this advertisement so that the REAL concept was working with YOUR team — not the company’s. The real money-maker here would be “T.’s support”. You did say that most uplines abandon their downlines, right?
Thanks for your patronage, T. I really appreciate it.
Consider giving it another edit, would you?
Message I Wrote Before Meditation:
The most painful part, I think, is not the refund.
What may be more painful, then, is the *lies*.
Because, T., I’m actually a *very* honest person. So much so, in fact, that I literally *kicked* my friend out of a Cadillac.
Why? Because he lied to his girlfriend. And he _smiled_ about it.
Point being: Lying sickens me.
So. If, by chance, you’ll look at this horrible letter again, you’ll see portions of highlighted text.
I had actually wanted to ask that you correct any false claims. But, T., I was stupid and decided to wait for your reply.
That is, I decided to wait for your reply… without explaining the purpose of the highlighted text to begin with.
Now, to address the readability.
Maybe it was an incorrect choice. I admit it. But nonetheless, I had modeled this very letter — the same letter you’ve requested a refund for — on a *very* successful advertisement.
Yes. This advertisement employs many techniques. Some techniques, even, are a bit… shady… by today’s standards.
And believe me. I had weighed this heavily in my own mind before using it. It even took a little personal convincing to actually decide on this strategy.
But, T., when it came down to it, I did so for three primary reasons…
I believe in your team.
I believe in Ignite.
And I (really) believe in Stream Energy.
And, therefore, I was willing to employ ANY strategy, T., to help you team grow. (Minus the lying that was previously proposed.)
Then, while we’re on the topic of ‘strategy’, It’s good to know that the U.S. Military’s advertising strategy has breathed confidence into my work.
If I had to guess, the U.S. military has never shown a man, agonizing in pain, over a bullet-sized hole in his leg. A bullet-sized hole from an Al-Qaeda’s AK-47.
But, if you were to pull out *any* commercial of theirs, just by random, here’s what you WOULD find.
You would find a well-dressed man, equipped in the finest of accoutrement, experiencing the evangelical sensation of serving with the elite few.
But. In the end. I can’t justify myself.
This letter did not conform to Dan Kennedy’s style of advertising.
My style wreaks ‘old school’. There’s nothing here that, well, looks anything like the Dan Kennedy style or format.
So. Regardless of the pain I may experience from your dissatisfaction — a pain I take entirely on my shoulders — I don’t see this as the end but as the beginning.
Because, T., the lesson you’ve given me… is invaluable.
I can now better appreciate the desires of my clients. I can now take the clue. Employing only what she sees in her mind’s eye.
Though, to be clear T. This does *not* mean that I don’t believe in my competence.
I *do* believe in my competence.
So much so, that, with a little revision of the claims (as you suggested), I would literally send this letter to my OWN list, if I had but the chance.
But, yes. That’s exactly it. It’s not *my* list. Therefore, it was erroneous of me not to take the hint and modernize the approach..
Anyway, I digress. At this point, I could write ‘advertising gold’. But, gold as it may be, I’d have a miserable time convincing you of its worth.
So, with that, I’m just going to say ‘thank you’.
You’re truly a hardworking person, who demands much from the people working beside you.
I’m truly grateful for your belief in me. This belief has allowed me to raise my standards even further, T.