(86+) Part One of Hell Freezing Over–Heaven Takes Its Place

(SPOILER ALERT!
SPOILER ALERT!
SPOILER ALERT!

It turns out really fucking awesome at the end.)

My world has been an emotional fuck-haven ever since the Fourth Coast Incident and getting terminated from Hooters. Having been a raving fan of Tony Robbins ever since I was sixteen, it wasn’t rocket science to conclude that my values-system has been terminally fucked, terminally ill, ever since those two terribly painful incidents. I mean, it’s pretty justifiable the way I felt after these two occurrences, because I highly doubt that any other sane person could deal with such a massive amount of rejection in such a short period of time.

Justifiable, sure, but I’m quite confident that you and I both know that accepting such a circumstance is complete and utter bullshit.  No matter how hard life gets, you get the fuck back up and keep going–just the way you were, with values in tact–and learn your goddamned lesson. Nothing more, nothing less. So it goes, it’s for this specific reason that I took the liberty of taking the wrench to my brain. More specifically, I did a “values and rules elicitation.” In other words, I focused my brains inner processes of how it made a decision at any particular time.

The follow’s what I uncovered. They’re emotional desires or aversions listed in order of pleasure-adding value or pain-adding value. Tony calls these “moving toward” and “moving away from” values, respectively.

  1. Possibility — When I feel that I project the world before me; that I’m the best; that I’m the world’s greatest person;
  2. Comfortable — I get everything that I want at all times
  3. Health — I’m drinking a Sambazon shake; anytime I do a deep breathing exercise; anytime I drink water or eat water-rich food; anytime I move my body; anytime I nap;
  4. Generating wisdom — Writing a blog post; Writing in a journal; typing; recording a video;
  5. Create value for others — Feel life from their shoes; Do CSQ’s for them;
  6. Security — As long as I’m taking actions toward my first goal; I have $1,000 in my bank with no debt (minus piracy)
  7. Enthusiasm–Vibrancy — As long as I have this wide expression on my face moving my body and measuring my state
  8. Adventure — See a new location; tackling a new project; setting new goals; reseeing goals I’ve forgotten;
  9. Ecstasy — Jerk off or fuck a girl or guy in an intimate way; I must have a dick in my mouth; the man just be “Oh god,”
  10. Cheerfulness — I’m smiling and see the next step; As long as I feel that I’m taking the right action toward my goal
  11. Learning — Reading, listening; doing something new;
  12. Centered — Meditate for five minutes in the past two hours
  13. Becoming more and more clear — As long as I specify my focus and desires
  14. Loving and connecting — As long as I’m giving love and connection for others to be a part of
  15. Investing — Anytime I sacrificing some short term pleasure for a future gain
  16. Evolving — As long as I see an image in my mind of something that makes me feel discomfort and do that thing;
  17. Aware–Accepting — As long as I ask questions like “What do I not want to admit to myself?”
  18. Contributing to others — As long as I ask what they’re pains, fears, frustrations; pleasures, wants, desires, aspirations, challenges, language, beliefs; and then evolving them in that context
  19. Feeling complimented–Supported — I’ve had an hour long conversation with one of my star mentors in the past 24 hours

My life double best is pure torture as long as (What double best are these in order of most torturous to least torturous for me?)

  1. Stagnation–Decline — I’m in a cluttered, dirty environment; anytime I’m near my parents or brother; anytime I’m near a person who has no written goals for themselves;
  2. Social Discomfort — I’m in any public environment; anytime I’m at a coffee shop or bar; anytime I think about the Fourth Coast experience; anytime I think about getting a job/Hooters
  3. Loss of Love — Anytime I express indifference to another person; anytime I lean in too much;
  4. Loss of Emotional Possibility — Anytime I stand still when I see someone walk by; anytime I let time slip by without asking “Is this the absolute best thing I can possibly do to attain goal #1?”
  5. Loss of financial security — Anytime I don’t grow my skills and abilities; anytime I don’t make a proposal or send an email via eLance, Guru, Craigslist; anytime I don’t outsource;
  6. I’m limited from growing — Anytime I don’t apply what I learn; Anytime I don’t take a risk;
  7. Forced to stay in negative influences — Anytime I have an income of $0;
  8. Non-Social Discomfort — Centering myself; Taking a nap; doing a personal ritual development;
  9. Rejection — Never… God reveals his face with an indifferent expression
  10. Inhibited from doing my best — As long as I have these current values; anytime I’m not consistently interacting with mentors

Ever since Fourth Coast and Hooters, My values have been thrown WAYYY off. It’s ridiculous how social-diverse I’ve become ever since then. I mean, sure, I’ve done intellectually challenging shit that I doubt one out of a 1,000 (10,000?) will never, EVER do. But that’s besides the point. 999 out of 1,000 probably also generate more emotional success (ahem, with OTHER people, not in general, I must add) than I do. Which is bullshit. It’s ME who’s supposed to be the best!!

God dammit.  I mean, have you noticed how the posts have devolved from touch and feeling some really nice boobs, from socially extravagant challenges in general, to introverted wussbag antics? I mean, is Getting Things Done really a challenge? NO. Getting Things Done is NOT a challenge. Not by a long shot. (Though it IS extremely useful… for without it, I would never have done this values elicitation/observation and realignment.

TK.insert StickK link here.Not one to procrastinate, I definitely set the timer for 50 minutes and a few Audacity loops for the questions that Tony suggests in Awaken the Giant Within in chapter twelve, and I begin writing away. I completed the sentence “My life double-best is perfect as long as…” nineteen times and “My life double-best is pure torture as long as…” ten times, which you can now see above. It blew my mind how dramatically my values have changed since the start of this.

Though I’ve only done this exercise two years ago and then again one year ago, i can tell you that rejection and social discomfort were well at the bottom of the list. I don’t need to bring up exact specifics on everything, I don’t think, to give you an “intuitive feel” that these values you see are really fucking warped and distorted.

Well, reading more into Awaken the Giant Within, I look at the specific questions he asks. i swear, I’ve read this chapter at least ten times (no hyperbole), but I aven’t seen these specific questions within this text until just now. They are:

  • “What do my values need to be in order to create my ultimate destiny, in order to be the best person I could possibly be, in order to have the largest impact in my lifetime?”
  • “What other values would I need to add?”
  • “What values should I eliminate from my list in order to achieve my ultimate destiny?”
  • What could having this value at the top of my list cost me?
  • What benefit do I get by having this value in this position on my hierarchy?

For each of the above values, I had Audacity loop each question over and over again so that my Unconscious Mind automatically directed my thinking on this to where it needed to be. It’s amazing how your Mind will answer any question given to it–whether the question’s from a machine repeating your voice or your from your own two lips. It’s amazing how values  rearrange so that the “Centered” value trumps “Cheerfulness.”  What elevated my lip-corners further was the apparition of moving away values like “Diffidence”, “Doubt”, “Apathetic”, “Giving Up On Someone” (big one). These were massive in my ways of feeling. Then, what freed me even further was the removal of moving toward values like “Freedom”, “Integrity”/. The away-from value “Rejection” exploded out of thin air when I asked the third, too.  “Loss of Love” remained on my list, but my Unconscious Mind demoted it wayyy down as the sixteenth value to avoid AFTER the first fifteen. Which basically means that it’s still of minor importance to me, or i.e. I’d rather not lose you, but I’ll easily live if you decide to go up and leave me for whatever reason.

Onward, friend! Once I asked the first three (and then asked the first one again to reorder the newly added values), I saw the need to leverage them into my brain, my neurology. What was profound was HOW FUCKING IMPACTFUL THIS WAS TO MY GODDAMNED MIND-BODY! Jesus Christ I’ve never witnessed anything so emotionally life-changing as what I’ve just experienced in this freaking wonder-world of fucking mind-spin booty-fucking transformational wizardry of mental conditioning. Every part of my body responds to specific events like women stopping a conversation with me for a moment (i.e. to deal with the self-scanner at the Meijer grocery store) VERY differently in this four-hour session that I’ve just done with myself. Instead of getting all insecure as fuck with myself, I decided that I would just smile and be totally cool with it. It was fucking hilarious because I realized that I was being stupid for initially thinking that she wasn’t into me JUST AFTER SMILING HER ASS OFF WHILE TALKING WITH ME. The red-shirted clerk came over to assist her as I was fumbling with a couple bottle of Sambazon bottles that wouldn’t scan. “Sorry I about that” the red-shirted clerk said.

FUCK YES! She was just getting the thing to work! Love it! By the way, this was the girl I had mentioned how she had a nice scarf on.

Another girl, I had mentioned had outstanding glasses on.

One girl was blonde who I suggested “Lovely weather outside eh.” Adding in the time constraint was super important–as cliche as it sounds. I was smiling so hard at this point!

There was the girl the who suggested that Greenhouse cucumbers had fewer seeds than regular cucumbers. It was also more expensive.

There was the girl and the semi-black dude who shared with me a far cheaper way to buy PURIFIED water (i.e. get it at the fountain for thirty-two cents instead of the eighty-nine cent bottle.) It turns out the FISH FUCKING LOVE DISTILLED WATER. GET THEM BITCHES–I MEAN FISHES– SOME DISTILLED WATER. YyyEAAH!

There was the brown haired girl who I interacted with near the creamer. There was me smiling in the fucking crowd

MAYBE I JUST LOOKED REALLY FUCKING GOOD.

The one girl said that all that guys need to do is look CLEAN. YES. I’M THE CLEANEST MOTHERFUCKER ON THE PLANET.

Anyway, that’s enough drafting for today. Let that be that.

I have fucking proven that Audacity looping will TRANSFORM YOUR FUCKING LIFE. There’s NOTHING like it. You have the power to achieve any goal that you set for yourself… You just need to have someone constantly asking you the right questions on a daily basis… ALL the time! I’m certain that Audacity looping can change your life.

 

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